Tag Archives: mean granny

Dear Gala Guru,

My Grandmother is a  harsh task master. Three Christmases in a row now she has physically assaulted somebody for incorrectly assisting in the kitchen. Oddly/comically each assault is accompanied by a limerick. You can’t make this stuff up GG. Three years ago my uncle argued the temperature of the bird should be 170 not 160. Granny shrieked and as Uncle Becker bent over to re-check the temperature of the turkey and Granny poked him extremely hard in the buttock with the serving fork while screaming “You are stuck in the past and now you’re stuck in the @$$!”  Uncle Becker ran out of the kitchen to ascertain the extent of his injuries and Granny went right back to finishing the bird as she saw fit. Experiencing an episode of this is high comedy and one learns that in Granny’s kitchen one will not participate unless they follow her exacting standards. But it seems every year someone slips up and I fear we are doomed to repeat this holiday tradition. Other than the annual physical assault Granny is a perfect host so I am torn between taking action and keeping my head low…after all the food is great! Any guidance you can provide me in this family matter would be sincerely appreciated.

Sincerely,

Colorado Colin Continue reading →